There’s a kind of silence that’s simply a pause. Someone gets upset, steps back for a bit, and the conversation eventually returns. Then there’s another kind of silence that isn’t a pause at all—it’s an action. It isn’t just the absence of words. It’s a way of controlling closeness.
For adult daughters, the topic of the silent treatment often shows up in a sentence said almost in passing: “When she stops talking, it’s like I disappear.” It becomes especially disorienting when the silence comes from your mother. The relationship with a mother isn’t just contact between two adults. It’s one of the earliest relationships where a person learns what closeness, safety, and belonging mean.
